Kicking Turkeys

We bought a walking book and decided to hit the trails. We went on the one that was stated to be 2 miles round trip and easy walking, sounded safe enough. About half way through the trail, we noticed the path to another trail that looked more inviting than the one we were on. 2 hours, many goat poop piles, and a little rain later we found ourselves up and back down a gorgeous mountain. The 360 degree view of the Lake District was well worth the heavy winds, rain fall, and exhaustion. When our shaky legs made it to the bottom of the mountain we rejoined our original trail. Luckily for us, we had purchased the walking guide book, because little did we know, the barely visible path cut through farm lands and backyards. We were midway into crossing one path when we realized we were in the middle of a cow pasture and the path cut through 8 full size cows. We froze and debated whether to continue or turn around and haul butt. All I could think about were Mel’s stories of being chased by cows/bulls (at the moment I couldn’t remember which one it was, which made me hesitate even more). I took a deep breath, blocked out thoughts of being knocked on my butt into cow piles, and we made our way through with cows glaring in our direction. We made it safely and laughed at how scared we were of cows when we come upon another field of chickens, goats, and turkeys. Once again, fear of angry roosters entered our heads. We walked slowly, deciding if we didn’t look the animals in the eyes we’d be ok, when up walked the king of all turkeys worldwide. We tried moving out of his way, but he kept getting closer. As he came closer, so did the other chickens. I quickened my step and bummed into Joel, which sent Joel into a tailspin. Freaking each other out, we both hauled ass the rest of the way to the fence. “You almost made me kick a turkey” Joel yelled. “Better me than you, I’m a vegetarian. I can’t kick animals.” When we made it to the other side of the fence we realized the poor guy was just hungry, but in the heat of the moment that turkey monster looked like it wanted to take revenge for turkeys everywhere. Sure gave the farmers something to laugh about.